Noah's New Groove
by Numbuh296
Summary: COMPLETE! Based on the Disney Classic. When Senior President Noah is betrayed by his vice president and turned into an animal, can he get his seat back, or be stuck as an animal forever? Please review!
1. Intros

_Intros_

It was a bright fall morning in Toronto, Canada. The birds were singing, the leaves were turning beautiful colors, and the air was becoming a bit chillier. High school students were back in the halls, making their way towards their classes. School was a bummer to everyone. Well, almost everyone.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" announced a gawky teenager named Harold to an auditorium full of students. "I give you your class president. The one, the only…NOAH!!" Cheers erupted from the students.

"Showtime," Noah whispered to himself as he walked on stage. Noah was a rather short teen with straight brown hair who wore a red sweater vest over a blue shirt. His appearance was met with much applause. Noah held his arms up to take it all in. He made his way over to the podium, stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat.

"Students," he began, "faculty and staff. Last June you elected me as senior class president. Instead of voting for the popular, sporty candidate Geoff, you have instead chosen your intellectual superior. Good for you."_

* * *

_

_Hey folks. Yep, it's me, Noah. Don't forget it. Welcome to my movie. See that guy at the podium. That would be me. Awesome, right? Well, guess what. Life at school was splendid. Being senior class president at my school is the best you can possibly do. And of course, when your opposition is people like Courtney and Geoff, an election isn't hard to win.

* * *

_

Noah left the auditorium, surrounded by his staff. He made his way through the halls, admiring many of his campaign posters that were left up during the summer. Noah smiled.

* * *

_Yep. My slogan during the campaign was "Yes I can!" Didn't really like it, but hey, that's what campaign managers are for. Speaking of which…

* * *

_

A raven haired girl ran up to Noah. "Excuse me," she said to Noah.

"What is it, Heather?" Noah asked.

* * *

_Her? She's Heather. Nasty queen snake if you ask me, but mostly harmless. She jumped onto my campaign. Don't know why, but now I don't really care. After all, she promised I would win, and she came through. She's now my vice president, by the way.

* * *

_

"Well," Heather said, "As the new vice president, I have some key policies I'd like you to okay."

"Whoa," Noah said. "Hold that thought, V.P. My inauguration was just today, give me some time to relax and wallow in my presidential status." Noah's stomach growled. "Why don't we make our way over to the cafeteria and grab some lunch."

"Sure," Heather said with a smile. "Anything the president wants." The staff made their way over to the cafeteria.

Noah made his way over to the lunch line. It was long, but that didn't stop Noah. "Move it or lose, out of my way, presidential privilege, watch it tubby," were just some of the things Noah told other students. He made his way to the front, cutting right in front of a kid with a green Mohawk, piercings, and a skull shirt.

* * *

_I love this part. Watch this.

* * *

_

"Hey man," the teen, Duncan, said. "No cuts."

"Didn't you hear?" Noah responded. "I'm the president."

"So what, egghead?" Duncan said. "I'm hungry. There's no way you cut in front of me!"

"Ahem," Noah cleared his throat. "Heather!" Heather came running up to the two, holding a large book.

"According to the school charter," Heather read, "the senior class president may be allowed the privilege of instant access to school facilities to aid in decision making capabilities."

Noah grabbed a tray full of specially prepared food. "Thanks Chef," Noah winked. Then he turned to Duncan and squeezed his cheek. "So sit tight, sunshine."

* * *

_That was great.

* * *

_

Noah and his staff made their way to their reserved table. Noah sat at the end, and began munching on his lobster. Heather tried to discuss new changes to make to the school, but Noah hardly cared.

"Wait, Heather?" Noah asked as he was finishing.

"Yes Noah?" Heather asked. "Did you want to ask about my policies?"

"How's my mural in the lobby coming along? I want it done this afternoon, or sooner."

"Mural?" Heather angrily asked. "Listen, you little--" she stopped herself. "I mean, don't you worry about that."

"Good," Noah said. He stood up, and took his lunch tray to the trash. Unfortunately for him, another student was making for the same trash can.

Noah was walking and talking to Heather. "Move my appointment at one to two, two to three, and cancel it. Get me a menu for tomorrow, and I want the Noah t-shirts to come in small and --". Noah was cut off as a student named Ezekiel smashed into him. Noah's tray spilt garbage all over his sweater vest. Noah stared in anger at his vest, then at Ezekiel.

"You…you…" Noah muttered.

Ezekiel started sweating and got clammy. "S--sorry, eh?" He breathed out. "Heh heh…"

Noah had him thrown out the third story window.

* * *

_Well, he did get food all over me. I stand by my decision.

* * *

_

"Heather, get me a change of clothes!" Noah demanded. Heather muttered something under her breath, and pulled out her cell phone.

"Noah needs new clothes. Now," she said. In a few minutes, a fat blond kid named Owen came running up to her, holding a hangar with a fresh set of clothes on it.

* * *

_Pudgy here? This guy's Owen. He's a three hundred pound fart bomb and Heather's assistant. She gets a new one every six months or so. This latest model isn't exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. If you ask me, he'd be a better trash compactor than assistant.

* * *

_

"Here you go sir," Owen said, presenting the clothes.

Noah grabbed the hangar and put on the new shirt. "Ah. Fresh as a spring daisy," he said, admiring this identical outfit.

"Did I miss lunch?" Owen asked Heather. "Tell me I didn't miss lunch."

Noah handed him a cookie from his pocket. "Knock yourself out, big guy," he commented as he threw the cookie up into the air. Owen jumped and caught it in his mouth like a dog. He even threw in a couple of barks.

"Now, if you'll excuse me guys," Noah said. "I have some business to attend to." Noah exited the cafeteria with Owen and Heather following. The three walked to the student office, and Noah sat down in his private presidential room.

* * *

_Ahh. Life was great for me. Unfortunately, it wouldn't stay that way for very long…_


	2. The Conspirators

**The Conspirators

* * *

**

_Remember me? Noah? The star? Well, now that you're all caught up in how I was greatness personified, let me explain how it all fell apart. It all started about a week after my inauguration…

* * *

_

Noah was in his office, playing his Xbox 360 on a private TV. Heather was sitting in front of the office at a desk. Heather was shining a name plate that read "Vice President". She placed in on the desk, out towards the office.

Heather then picked up a coffee mug, and strategically placed it over the word "vice" so nobody could see it. She then noticed that Noah's picture was on the front of the mug, so she turned it around. Noah's picture was on the other side, too.

"Grrr…" she growled. "Owen!" Owen came running up.

"Yea Heather?" He asked.

"Go get me a mug without Noah's picture on it!" she demanded.

"But Heather, these things are all around the school. I don't think I can find--"

"OWEN!"

"I'm on it!" Owen shouted as he ran out of the room. He slammed the door behind him, but it opened soon after. A jock wearing a red sweat suit and headband came into the office.

"Sup?" He asked Heather. "Can I speak to the president?"

Heather looked at Noah's office. "He's busy." she lied. "Perhaps I can help?"

"Umm…okay," he replied.

* * *

_Stop! Hold it! Okay, see, here's the problem. Soon after I became the president, Heather started taking advantage of her position as lowly vice. She kept making presidential decisions without my consent, like she was in charge. And I'm thinking thats gotta stop.  


* * *

_

"There's no way the gym's getting more…what was it?" Heather asked the jock.

"Balls?" he responded.

"Right. I need that money to keep the fashion club going." Heather said, filing her nails.

"But…but how are we going to play sports without any balls at all?"

"Not my problem," Heather replied, not looking up from her fingers.

Just then, the door to the president's office opened up, and Noah came out. He looked over at Heather, and then at Tyler (the jock).

"Oh," Noah said, clutching his head. "Tell me you aren't doing my job again…"

Heather became nervous. "Um…you see, I was just advising this guy here. No damage."

Just then, Owen came back in. "Heather! I found you a mug without Noah's picture on it!" he yelled from across the room. "And it's a great mug, too. See? It says 'I heart dumb mugs' on it! Isn't that funny?" Owen then looked at the now angry Noah. "Is this a bad time?" he asked.

"Heather! In my office now!" Noah said. The two entered the office.

"So do you heart dumb mugs?" Owen asked Tyler. All he received was a very strange look.

"Let me assure you," Heather began before Noah could even talk. "My intentions were pure. I didn't want you to stress your pretty little head. And I was just…"

Meanwhile, Noah was thinking very hard. And was ignoring everything Heather said. "Brother," he thought to himself. "Does this bimbo ever shut up. I've heard it all before. You were napping, it wasn't a big deal, blah blah blah. Eww, what's that? Is that celery? How long has that been between her teeth. Yuck. Get flossing, Heather…"

Noah finally spoke up, interrupting Heather. "Heather you're fired." he said firmly and quickly.

"What..?" Heather asked as if she didn't believe this. "What did you say to me?"

Noah put a finger to his chin. "How else can I put this? You're being let go, your department's being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option, you've been voted off…take your pick." Heather could only stare in bewilderment.

Just then, an intercom on Noah's desk went off. "Noah sir? You're three-thirty is here," a voice said.

"Well," Noah opened the door for Heather. "I feel that this has been a most productive meeting. But I understand that you can't stay."

Heather started to mutter and stormed out of the office. "C'mon Owen," she said to the big guy.

Owen followed. "So, you were fired huh? Not that I was eavesdropping, heh heh." Heather and Owen made their way down the hallway away from the office.

Noah pressed a button on his intercom, and replied "Send him in."

Noah sat down in his chair and got comfortable. In walked a large, but not fat, strong teen named DJ. Though he was a heavily built guy, he was somewhat timid.

* * *

_And here's the man of the hour. This guy, right here. Don't let his shy demeanor fool you. He's the key player in the destroying my life.

* * *

_

"Hey, Noah," DJ greeted.

"Ah ah ahhh," Noah replied. "President Noah."

"President Noah," DJ repeated. "Um, you wanted to see me, sir?"

Noah stood up. "You got it. DJ; President of that animal club."

"That's me," DJ remarked proudly. "And it's the Animal Adoption club."

The two walked out of the office into the hallway. "Why don't you show me your club, big guy?" Noah asked.

"I'd love to!" DJ said. The two walked up a staircase and turned a corner. The room was right in the middle of the hallway.

"This is the room!" DJ said, opening the door and turning on the light. The room was an average sized classroom, but had few desks. There was a row of windows on the opposite side of the classroom. An old blackboard up front showed this room wasn't used for teaching anymore. Large cages were at one end of the room. Some of them held sleeping dogs and cats.

"As you can see," DJ began, "The club and I were able to fix up this room in order to make it a better environment for the animals here."

"Uh huh," Noah said, walking towards the window. "And what's out this window here?"

"The window?" DJ asked, opening one. "From here, you get a beautiful view of the pool outside."

"You don't say…" Noah smirked.

"Yep," DJ nodded. "Sometimes, if you're here late enough when the sun sets, it's the most beautiful sight in the world. The sun gently reflecting on the rippling water. It just feels like the world is singing."

"Great!" Noah said. "Then it's decided."

"What is?" DJ asked.

"Why, the location of my new private hot tub/pool booth."

"What?" DJ asked, almost yelling. "You mean you're going to use our club room as a private viewing deck?"

"Complete with hot tub?" Noah responded. "Of course, this entire wall has to come down. I'll probably replace it with one of those glass walls, to get a good view of the pool. And the animals have got to go. There's no way my pool room is going to smell like wet dog."

* * *

_I call it "Noah's Pool Palace".

* * *

_

"But, but, you can't do that!" DJ argued.

"Um, president?" Noah said, reminding DJ of his near impervious stature. DJ stared at him angrily. "Oh we're done," Noah added, not noticing.

DJ raised a finger to argue, but couldn't. He walked away dejected. How could he tell his club members what happened?

Noah walked back to the office, taking out his cell phone to call "Beds, Baths and Hot Tubs".

* * *

_And I lived happily ever after. The end. Right? Wrong! In retrospect, it probably wasn't smart of me to make so many enemies in one day, but what can I say? I'm…me! Who would ever in their right mind hate me?_


	3. Nefarious Dealings

_Just a quick heads up from me, guys. I do not own Total Drama Island, Total Drama Action, or The Emperor's New Groove. I hate the fine print..._

**Nefarious Dealings**

"I hate that little pipsqueak!" Heather yelled. She and Owen were out on the empty football field. Heather was fuming about how she lost her position. Owen was holding a large box full of the Noah coffee mugs.

"How dare that egghead fire me! I made him president in the first place!" Heather said. Owen placed a mug onto the ground in front of her.

"I guess he was kind of harsh," Owen agreed, handing Heather a sledgehammer.

"Oooh, I put so much effort into his campaign, and all I ask for is a little piece of the pie!" Heather said. She took the hammer and smashed the coffee mug with a mighty blow. Owen grabbed another Noah mug from the box and placed it in the same spot where the now smashed one was.

"That know-it-all loser!" Heather yelled, smashing the next mug. Once again, Owen placed a new mug there. "I gave the best years of my life to make this school ours! And now like that, he fires me!" Smash. "How could he do this to me . Doesn't he know who I am?" Smash. "That Noah is (a little to the left, Owen) a dead man! I'll teach him a lesson if it's the last thing I do!" Smash.

Owen chimed in. "Well, you kind of did act like you were class president."

Heather stared at him. "You're saying that this is my fault?" she asked angrily.

"No, no," Owen said. "It's just that, well, Noah is the president. Not you. But vice president's get great perks to! Like, you don't have to pay for the vending machine, and you can get cut's for the water fountain, and you can eat all the great food that Noah doesn't want!"

"Shut it, Owen," Heather said. "You aren't helping. Just stick to putting the mugs…wait a minute." Heather grinned; an evil grin. "If I were president…" she began.

"I know! I know!" Owen said. "You'd be able to cut to the front of the lunch line!"

Heather patted Owen's head. "And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm talking being waited on hand an foot. Ruling with an iron fist. Taking total control of everyone. Hanging with the jet set. And more…"

"Yes!" Owen cheered. "But, wait. One problem. Noah's president."

"A situation easily remedied. I'll just get rid of Noah" Heather said. "Then the vice president becomes president."

"But weren't you fired?" Owen asked.

"We're the only three that know about that." Heather said, holding three fingers up. "Soon to be the two of us…" She put one finger down.

"I'm one of those two, right?" Owen asked.

Heather ignored him. "Let's go Owen." She and Owen ran back into the school.

The two made their way to a girl's bathroom on the fourth floor. An out of order sign was on the door, indicating that nobody ever went there. Heather snuck in.

"But I can't go in there, it's the girls room!" Owen said.

"Come on, Owen! Before someone sees!" Heather grabbed Owen by the ear and dragged him in.

The duo walked to an old sink at the end of the bathroom. "Turn the knob, Owen!" Heather commanded. Owen turned the cold water knob.

Suddenly, the tile beneath Heather sprung up, sending Heather shooting through the roof of the school. "Wrong knooooobbbbb!" she yelled as she went careening through the air.

A few minutes later, Heather came back in, looking like she crashed into the ground pretty hard. "Why do we even have that knob…" she asked. She went to the sink and twisted the hot water knob. The wall in front of them spun, and dropped the two into a cart in an old abandoned spiral staircase. A bar dropped in front of the two as if they were on a roller coaster. A voice said "please remain seated and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times." Owen was excited. Heather was just waiting.

The cart zoomed down the staircase. Luckily, the stairs were so eroded that the ride was smooth. Owen cheered. "Yee-ha! Faster faster! Heather, put your hands up!" The cart spiraled down several floors to the basement of the school.

When the cart stopped, Heather and Owen jumped out, both of them now wearing laboratory suits, gloves, and goggles. Both made their way over to a chemistry table brimming with tubes and beakers. "Ah, the chemistry lab," Heather commented.

"Now how should I do this?" Heather asked herself, eying the dastardly chemicals. "I know! I'll make all of Noah's hair fall out! He'll be so devastated, he'll run right out of the school. And then, I take control." Heather laughed, knocking over the hair potion, which found it's way to a drain in the floor.

"Or, I can poison him with this!" Heather said, picking up a vile of pink fluid.

"Great Gatsby!" Owen said. "Poison?!"

"Keep your shirt on, it's not deadly!" Heather said. "This flask, Owen, contains a potent strain of swine flu. A little bit of this, and Noah will be both forced out of school for a week and shunned when he gets back! Perfect!" Heather let out an evil chuckle. "Too easy."

Heather held the flask up to the light. "Owen!" she cried. "It's lunch time!"

"Finally!" Owen clapped. "Awesome!"

*****

Noah entered the lunchroom. He was pleasantly surprised that Heather invited him to a grand lunch, and had even gotten the cafeteria emptied for him. Noah purposely had a light breakfast. He walked to the table where Heather was sitting, and sat down.

"Hey, Heather," Noah greeted. "By the way, in case this is some ruse to make me make you V.P again, it's not going to work."

"Don't be silly." Heather feigned a smile. "I just wanted to throw this lunch to show you that there are no hard feelings."

Owen entered the cafeteria from the kitchen. He was wearing oven mitts. "Okay dudes," he said. "I thought we could go with an awesome Polynesian theme. First, we'll start off with some pineapple kebabs, then move onto the main course; a plate of ribs; Hawaiian style! We'll finish with some cake flambé."

"Owen…" Heather said through gritted teeth. "What about the drinks?"

"The drinks?" Owen asked. "Oh yeah…the drinks." Owen ran into the kitchen and grabbed a tray with three drinks on them. "Hope you guys like Shirley Temples, cause--"

"Owen," Heather whispered. "Did you add our 'special' ingredient?"

"You mean cranberry juice. Of course!"

"No, I mean the 'special' one?" Heather said through her smile, still looking at Noah.

"Oh, that one." Owen smirked, remembering the plan. "Yep."

"Good," Heather said, relaxing. "Now serve Noah his drink."

Owen put the tray of drinks down. He was about to pick up the poisoned cup, when Noah said, "Is something burning?"

Owen panicked. "The ribs!" He screamed, running into the kitchen, leaving Heather and Noah alone.

"So…" Noah said, trying to make conversation. "He seems nice…"

"Sure," Heather replied, anxious for Owen to return.

"How much does he weigh again?" Noah asked. "260? 270?"

"Um…I'm not quite sure…"

Owen ran back in. "Don't worry guys. Saved 'em." Noah and Heather seemed relieved, probably because Owen broke the awkward environment.

"Now give us our drinks," Heather said.

"No problem," Owen said, reaching for the drinks. But he had forgotten which one had the poison in it. Owen stopped.

"Problem, tubby?" Noah asked.

"Um…I just need to put more ice cubes in them. These drinks are horrible when their hot."

Owen grabbed the tray, and brought it to a table in the back of the cafeteria. He took the drinks out of all three cups and put it into a pitcher. He then shook the pitcher to mix up the drink, and poured the drink back into the three cups.

"Owen…" Heather said. "We're getting thirsty…" Owen quickly ran back.

"Here you go," Owen said, looking nervous. But Noah didn't notice. Owen gave Noah his drink and walked to Heather. While handing Heather her drink, he whispered through gritted teeth, "Don't drink…poison…" Heather got the message, and just dumped the drink into a nearby trashcan. Owen poured his drink into his back pocket. Noah drank the whole thing.

"Mmm… I have to hand it to you, Owen," he said. "You make a mean Shirley Temple." Suddenly, Noah got woozy and collapsed onto the table.

"Yes!" Heather laughed, now with a real smile. "It worked. Now all we have to do is--"

"Man, I'm starving!" Noah said as he popped back up. Heather and Owen stared at him in confusion. "Owen," Noah said. "How's about those pineapple skewers now?" As he finished this sentence, his ears grew much longer and floppy. Heather and Owen were even more confused, but Noah didn't seem to notice.

"C'mon man," Noah continued. "I have other appointments today…" Noah's hands turned into paws in front of him. "And these ribs better be good, too." Noah sprouted whiskers, and his nose twitched several times.

While Noah was talking, Heather was signaling Owen to knock Noah out. Owen silently crept over to Noah. Noah was covered in brown fur now. All that remained of his human self was his voice and his hair. Owen grabbed a plate from the table, and smashed it over Noah's head. Unfortunately, the plate was made of paper. "Can I help you?" Noah asked.

Heather gripped her head. "Ugg…" she moaned.

"Well…" Owen started. But after that, he let out a loud fart. A cloud of methane floated up from his pants to Noah's now furry face and sensitive nose, and knocked him out cold.

Heather and Owen walked up to him. "Owen? Why is Noah a rabbit!?"

"Weird, right?" Owen asked.

"Let me see the flask, Owen?" Heather demanded. Owen handed her the empty flask.

"This doesn't say Swine flu!" Heather yelled. "It says rabbit fusion!"

"You shouldn't print the labels so small!" Owen cried.

"Whatever," Heather said. "We can still make this work. Owen, grab Noah and take him to the woods or something!"

"But, what about lunch?" Owen asked, disappointment in his voice.

"Owen," Heather said. "We **do **have priorities."

"Not even dessert?" Owen asked tearing up.

"No--" Heather stopped and thought. "Well, okay, a little desert."

"And coffee?" Owen perked up.

"Alright," Heather said. "Some dessert, a quick cappuccino, then dump him in the woods!"

After some dessert and coffee, Owen grabbed the now rabbit Noah, and placed him in a duffel bag.

* * *

_See? I'm the victim here. Just because Heather couldn't stand a little pink slip! And the torture is just beginning.

* * *

_Owen crept out of the cafeteria, holding the duffle bag. "The skilled cat burglar," Owen started, "is adept at getting out of tight places!"

* * *

_Oh my gosh, he's narrating…

* * *

_

"The burglar must remain silent and out of sight," Owen continued. "He creeps down the old hallways, and out of the great museum." Owen walked out of the school, down a couple of blocks, and into the woods nearby. The woods were part of a park; acres across, filled with trees and the like. There was a zoo and playground inside. Swan boats rested on the lake.

"Here's where I let you go, man." Owen took the bag, and prepared to throw it into the woods. He hesitated, knowing that there was a moral issue. What should he do?

Suddenly, on his left shoulder, a miniature version of him, but with a red shirt and devil horns and a tail appeared. "Do it," he said in a squeaky voice. "You're in too deep now."

"I don't know…" Owen said. Just then, and small angelic version of him appeared on his right shoulder.

"No, Owen," he said. "You must stay on the path of light. The straight and narrow."

Devil-Owen spoke up. "Don't listen to that pansy over there. I'm here to help you on the path to fun-town."

Angel Owen argued, "But think about poor Noah. You can't abandon him in the woods. Cold, scared, alone…"

"Hey," Devil-Owen said. "We all know that rabbits don't have feelings. Leave him here."

"Um…you guys are confusing me…" Owen said to the two.

"It's not your business what happens to that jerk Noah," Devil-Owen said. "Besides, watch what I can do." Devil-Owen did a handstand.

"How does that do anything?" Owen asked.

"No no. He has a point…" Angel-Noah said.

"Tell you what," Owen said to both. "You guys take five, and I'll figure this out myself."

"Cool," the two Owens said, and both apparitions disappeared. Owen looked around, and decided to take Noah to an animal shelter. He ran out of the woods towards the school. On his way, he bumped into a rather well built teen who was also holding a duffel bag. Both fell to the ground.

"Sorry dude," Owen said, grabbing a bag.

"No problem," the other teen, DJ, replied, picking the other bag.

Owen continued running to a veterinary clinic. "I guess this is good enough." Owen ran in and spoke to the receptionist. "Hi. I found this guy out on the…uh…street." Owen handed her the bag.

The receptionist opened the bag. "You found gym clothes and you brought them here?" Owen took the bag back.

"GYM CLOTHES?" He ran outside. "Then that must mean…" Owen ran as fast as he could back to the school. He looked everywhere for that guy who must have taken his bag. But he was nowhere.

"Oh crap," Owen said to himself. "I sure hope that doesn't come back to haunt me..."


	4. Head Butting

_Head Butting_

DJ walked through the park silently. He was feeling really bad. The animal adoption club helped homeless animals find homes. And it was a place where DJ could hang out with his best friends, Cody, Katie, and Sadie. The four of them worked hard to make a great club; even resorting to using the last available school room. Where would the animals go? They would have to be…liquidated. All because the president wanted a private pool deck.

It was twilight, and it took DJ over an hour to get through the park. Sure, the bus would get him home in about fifteen minutes, but on bad days, the park usually helped DJ cheer up. But it wasn't working today. Especially since he was to meet with Cody, Katie and Sadie at his house.

DJ left through the west exit, and onto the streets of Toronto once again. His house was now just a few blocks away. But he felt like he had cement shoes. He still wasn't sure how his friends would take the closure of their club. Katie and Sadie would probably flip out or cry. Cody might try to fight back, which would be pointless.

DJ came to house, and opened the door. His mother informed him that his friends were out back. DJ pretended to be happy, and walked out back.

"Hey DJ," Cody greeted. "What's up man?"

"Hi DJ!" Katie and Sadie greeted at once.

"Hey guys," DJ said, waving. "Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

"No worries man," Cody replied. "We just helped ourselves to a few of your sodas."

"Ohmigosh," Katie said. "I love your grape pop, DJ."

"Me too," Sadie agreed. Both squealed. "So why were you late today?"

DJ stopped. "Um…well…our class president wanted to see me," he said twisting the shoulder strap of his duffel bag.

"For what?" Cody asked

"About our club," DJ responded.

"Our animal adoption club?" Sadie asked. "That reminds me, today Katie and I found a new dog that we can bring in."

"It's a toy poodle!" Katie added. "Her old owner calls her 'Puddles'. And he's soooo cute!"

DJ rubbed his neck. "Heh heh. Great guys. Listen. I have to put my gym clothes away. I'll be back in a sec."

DJ slowly walked up the stairs. He dragged his duffel bag, letting it bump on every stair. He turned left and went to his room. He opened his window, and let the brisk air in. Some stars were visible. DJ sighed deeply.

* * *

_Wait wait! Hold on a second. Last time I checked, this story wasn't called "DJ's new groove". Remember, this story is about the guy in the duffel bag. Not him, me! Just to be clear.  


* * *

_

DJ looked up at them while opening his duffel bag. He stuck his hand in, and was startled when he felt something furry. He peered into the bag, and found something surprising. A young rabbit, who looked like he was about to wake up. DJ picked him up gently.

"Well hello there little fella," DJ said with kindness. "How'd you get in there?" DJ wasn't expecting an answer. But that's what he got.

"Ug…" the rabbit moaned. "What happened?"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" DJ yelled. "DEMON BUNNY!"

"Demon bunny!?" Noah, the rabbit, asked. "Where?!" Noah stood up to look around, then started to run. But when he tried to run on his two back legs, he found himself tripping over them, and tumbled into a dresser.

"Stay calm, bunny," DJ said. "I mean you no harm…"

Noah rubbed his head. "What are you talking about?"

Hearing this, DJ recognized the voice. He then realized the hair on the rabbit's head looked familiar. "Noah..?" He asked.

"President Noah," Noah corrected, righting himself. "Where on earth--" he looked at DJ. "Hey, I remember you! You're that kid from the club. DJ!"

"Um…Noah," DJ said. "Why don't you look at your hand."

"What is this," Noah muttered, lifting up his paw. "An eye exam?" He looked at where his hand should have been. Instead he saw a paw. Noah suddenly jumped back.

"Gah! What happened!?" DJ tried to calm him down, but Noah ignored him and scrambled for the nearest mirror. He was horrified to find a rabbit staring back at him.

"AAUUGGHHH! I'm a stupid rabbit?! How on earth did this happen?" Noah moaned.

"Calm down," DJ said. "Now try to remember. What happened?"

Noah sat and thought. "Let's see," he began. "I was president, living the great life, and I was placing an order for my pool palace…" He angrily stared at DJ. "And there was you! You didn't want me to take your precious club! So you turned me into a rabbit and kidnapped me!"

"What!?" DJ shouted. "What are you taking about!? Why would I turn you into a rabbit?!"

"I'm not the evil genius here, big guy!" Noah said.

"Evil Genius?!"

"You're right. That's giving you way too much credit."

Noah sat and thought out loud. "Okay, okay…Heather has that 'secret lab'(here he made quotation marks in the air). I just go back to school, snap my fingers, and order her to change me back!" Noah turned to DJ. "And you are gonna take me back!"

"Me?" DJ asked.

"So come on, tiny…" Noah said, hopping out of DJ's room. "Time's a wastin!"

DJ started to follow, but then stopped. "Build your pool room somewhere else," he said sternly.

Noah stopped. "What?" he asked.

"If you want me to take you back, you have to promise to build that pool room somewhere else."

"Newsflash braniac," Noah began. "I'm the senior class president! I build what I want where I want it! An 'Noah's Pool Palace' is going in that zoo of a room!"

"Then I'm not taking you back to school," DJ said.

"Fine!" Noah said. He hopped out the front door. "I'll go myself." He looked down the street. "If that's the park over there, all I have to do is follow the signs, and I'll find my way back to school."

"I wouldn't do that!" DJ said. "That park's really scary at night. It's filled with all sorts of crazy people!"

"Oh, I'm so scared," Noah mocked. "Fraidy cat!" He hopped down the block, towards the park.

"Wait!" DJ said, but he stopped himself. "Fine. If there's no Noah, there's no 'Noah's Pool Palace'!" DJ walked out the back door to join his friends.


	5. Forming an Alliance

_A/N__: Fixed a very glaring plot hole._

_Forming an Alliance_

Rabbit Noah walked, or hopped, through the woods. Darkness had set in, and most of the park lights were closed. But Noah took all of this in stride.

"Okay, Noah," he said to himself. "No problem. You've walked thorough this park dozens of times." He even joked to himself a couple of times. "Oh no, a leaf!" and "Save me from that crack in the sidewalk, DJ!" were just some of his taunts. But it wasn't very long before things got…well…creepy.

"Relax, Noah," Noah said nervously as the lights in the park dimmed. One thing he didn't consider was that at his new height, he couldn't see the directional arrows. It was all he could do to stay on the concrete path, which snaked towards the center of the park. Noah could swear he heard helpless cries from insects that were unfortunate enough to be caught in webs.

"All you have to do is find the park zoo and turn left." He tried to reassure himself. Beads of sweat rolled down his snout. Noah recalled a book he read once called "Watership Down" and all the grim hardships the rabbits endured. He gulped.

After what seemed like hours, Noah looked through a group of trees and was relieved to see the park zoo on the other side. He sighed a breath of relief, and decided it would be faster to walk through that thicket. He hopped off the path and into the trees.

He was happy that he was finally on track, when his keen rabbit ears picked up a rustling behind him. Noah panicked. He bolted for the zoo, and the rustling grew closer behind him. Noah pushed himself, but found himself tripping over a log. A shadow jumped over him and pounced. Noah cringed and cried as he felt teeth closing on him.

But wait. Those weren't teeth. They were fingers. And they were petting him. Noah opened his eyes. Staring at him was a girl with bright orange hair, who had an insane twitch in her eyes. "Who's a cute bunny…" she said, rubbing his back.

"Ug," Noah grunted annoyed. "Get your hand off of me."

"Wow," Izzy, the girl said. "A talking rabbit. Unless its those voices inside my head again. But they only come out via household appliances."

Noah dusted himself off. "Well, it's been nice meeting you, but I've got to get going."

"Wait, bunny dude." Izzy reached into her shirt. "Want a carrot?"

Noah eyed the vegetable. "A carrot that's been in your…shirt…for who knows how long? Sure!" Izzy happily gave the carrot to Noah.

Noah lifted the carrot up to his mouth the best he could. Suddenly, he threw the carrot at Izzy's head. "No way, Ms. Clinically insane." He turned around towards the zoo. "Find some other small, furry, woodland creature to annoy." Noah hopped away.

"Ohhh!" Izzy yelled after him. "You waskawy wabbit!"

Noah hopped over to the zoo wall. He looked left, and right, and decided it would be best to simply dig under the gate and out the north side. After all, lights were still on in the zoo. He quickly dug a tunnel, and came up on the other side.

"I guess DJ wasn't kidding about the crazy people in the park. Oh well. I'm almost there." Noah hopped past the horse pen, through the aquariums, and came out at the big cat cove. Lions, tigers, panthers, cheetahs, and many more were all sleeping silently. The north exit was visible. Noah hopped towards the exit, silently congratulating himself for being so clever. "I'll be human by morning…"

But then, a woman pushing a cart full of balloons pulled up in front of him. "Hey, do you mind?" Noah asked, trying to hop around. The balloon salesman pulled off her uniform, revealing that it was Izzy. Noah was shocked.

"What are you doing here?" Noah asked.

"Selling balloons…duh!" Izzy said.

"At midnight?"

"Want one?"

"No!"

"Fine. Then I'll get rid of them," Izzy said as she pulled a hairpin out of her curls. She took one of the balloons.

"No no no…" Noah said, noticing the sleeping predators around him.

"Yes yes yes…" Izzy said. She popped one.

Nothing happened.

"HA!" Noah laughed loudly, followed by quickly covering his mouth. His laugh had woken up every single animal in the zoo. All the cats were staring at him, and each one looked hungry. But Noah also noticed that they were all enclosed in their habitat.

"You're plan failed, crazy." Noah laughed. In fact, Noah hopped over to the biggest cats; the tigers, and taunted them by flaunting his bushy tail.

* * *

_Nope, it's not Noah. I'm Izzy. Yea, I can be here. It's on my contract. I get one narration. Anyways, while hacking into the Canadian National Parks and Wildlife database, I found out that if someone pulls the fire alarm at the zoo, it opens all the cages so the animals can escape if there's a fire!

* * *

_

Izzy tiptoed over to a fire alarm while Noah continued to taunt the biggest tiger in the enclosure. Noah didn't even notice when the door to all the cat's enclosures opened.

"Enjoy you're artificial environment and your pre_-_packaged food!" Noah said, not even noticing as that tiger smiled. Noah turned around, finally satisfied with his work. He hit a wall. A furry wall. A big furry wall. Noah looked up.

*****

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Noah screamed as he ran as fast as his rabbit legs could carry him. He was being chased by every lion, panther, jaguar, tiger, cheetah, and other big cat in the zoo. Of course, Izzy was following via riding a giraffe she also released.

Noah ran left, then right, but the cats were hot on his tail. He ran into the aquarium room. The cats followed. Noah jumped a low fence, and found himself in another exhibit. The cats cornered him there. And unless he could fly, there was no way out. He backed up to the very edge of the pit. Below was the zoo's famous "Crocodile and Great White Shark Lake."

"Oh, come on!" Noah complained. "That doesn't even make sense!" The cats closed in, a breath away from Noah. Izzy, behind them, simply imitated Elmer Fudd's laugh. Noah began to say his last prayers.

Suddenly, a voice from a distance let out a Tarzan yelled. Noah, Izzy, and the cats turned to look. It was DJ, racing his way towards Noah via bike. As he reached the other edge of the pit, he did a marvelous jump. Too marvelous. He cleared Noah and the cats.

"Um…let me try that again…" DJ said. This time, he jumped over the cats, grabbed Noah by the tail, and put him in his bike's basket. He then did one last jump over the cats, and rode towards the north exit.

"Don't worry, Noah! You're safe now!" DJ comforted, looking at Noah. Which meant his eyes weren't on the street. DJ smashed into the abandoned balloon cart. Noah and DJ flew off the bike and got tangled in the balloon strings, binding them to the cart. DJ was stuck looking forward, and Noah was stuck looking back. Worse still, the momentum from the bike transferred to the cart, sending the two shooting out of the zoo.

"Great rescue, big guy!" Noah said sarcastically.

"Hey!" DJ responded. "At least you're out of the zoo. And we can get out of this." DJ began to struggle, hoping to loosen the binds. The cart began to slow down a little.

Noah noticed that DJ stopped struggling. In fact, he went rather cold.

"Um…Noah…" DJ began.

"Let me guess," Noah asked. "Oh, I'm the commissioner of Canada's Zoo Organization, and I want to build this zoo on the top of the biggest hill in Toronto, which happens to be about a million meters high!"

"Yep," DJ said, rather calmly.

"And of course, it has to be a hill with thorns and brier patches at the bottom."

"Most likely," DJ.

"Bring it on."

The cart reached the edge of the steep, steep slope. The front wheel stopped just as it was about to go over, but just enough for Noah to sarcastically say "I think I saw a cloud floating **below** me." The cart then went over.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Both DJ and Noah screamed as they exceeded the speed of sound towards the bottom.

*****

DJ pulled himself out of the brambles. "Ug," he grunted, holding his head in pain. He was battered and bruised, and covered in dirt. "Well, we survived. I don't mind telling you that I was so scared, right Noah." No response. "Noah!"

DJ jumped back into the bushes, and dragged out Noah's body. He looked unconscious. "Why me?" DJ asked as he knew what he had to do.

He opened Noah's rabbit mouth to begin resuscitation. But as he brought his lips close, Noah came to. Noah's eyes met DJ.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" both screamed, hopping away from each other.

"Okay," Noah said, spitting. "Of all the things that happened to me tonight, that was the foulest, the sickest, the--"

"It wasn't a kiss!" DJ said "It was resuscitation. I thought you were dead!"

"Whatever you call it," Noah replied. "It was disgusting." Noah looked around. It was pitch dark now. Probably a little after midnight. "Okay tiny. Where to?"

"Noah," DJ said. "It's too dark. I can't see a thing."

"Oh, I didn't know that." Noah said. "Really?"

"Point is…" DJ continued, "I think we should stay put until daylight." Fear echoed in his voice.

Noah thought about it, but didn't really have much choice. "Fine. But tomorrow, you're taking me back to school. And then I get my hot tub."

"I said no," DJ said, making a bed out of nearby leaves. "Not unless you put that hot tub somewhere else."

"I guess we don't see eye to eye on this," Noah said, hopping over to a pile of leaves.

"Look, let's not argue now," DJ said. "It's really spooky out here."

"Who's arguing?" Noah asked. "If you just do what I say, there'd be no argument." But DJ already was fast asleep. "The harder they fall…" Noah said to himself, curling up into a sleeping position.

*****

DJ woke up a few hours later. A cold gust of wind had woken him up. He looked around. It was still dark. He could barely see, be he heard chattering. Chattering that came from a certain rabbit. DJ squinted and saw Noah struggling to stay warm. DJ felt a little compassion for Noah, took off his hat, and placed it over Noah's body. Noah's shivering stopped.

DJ smiled. "Ya know, I bet there's some good in him," DJ thought, curling up again. What he didn't know was that Noah had woken up just in time to see DJ give his hat to him.

*****

Noah woke up. The sun was peaking over the trees. Birds were singing. Some of the plants around him had dew on them. But DJ wasn't there.

Noah used his rabbit ears to listen for him, and eventually found him. DJ was washing his hands and face in a small stream nearby.

Noah hopped over. "Um, here you go." Noah muttered, handing DJ his hat back.

"Oh, thanks," DJ said, taking it back.

"It's nice," Noah said, trying to make conversation.

"Yea. My mama made it," DJ responded.

"Cool," Noah said. "Okay, I'm going to stop beating around the bush." DJ looked up. "So…I was thinking…maybe I could build the hot tube someplace else…"

DJ stopped. "Are you saying you're doing something nice? For someone else?"

"Don't read into it, Tiny," Noah replied.

DJ stared at Noah, and then held up his hand. "Shake?"

Noah stared at the hand for a moment, then went in to shake it, but DJ pulled away. "Don't shake unless you really mean it, bro," DJ said.

Noah grabbed DJ's hand with his paw, and shook it.

"Great!" DJ said. "Now let's get going. If the zoo was up that hill over there, then we'll have to go this way."

"Well let's get going, Tiny!" Noah said. "The sooner I'm human again, the better." Both continued through the park.

"Oh, by the way," DJ turned. "Thanks."

"No," Noah said to himself slyly. "Thank you…"

*****

Heather and Owen entered the student office early in the morning. Classes were just beginning. Heather picked up the microphone. The school's intercom buzzed on, and Heather's voice was heard through the school.

"Dear students," she said, feigning sadness. "I am saddened to inform you that Senior Class President Noah was in a terrible car accident. He will…not recover. I tearfully accept the position as President. But let us have a moment of silence for our dear President." She paused for only a second or two. "Well," she said, the sadness suddenly gone. "He's not getting any deader!"

Senior Class President Heather went right to work. She spent the day supervising the renovation of the school. All the pictures of Noah were torn down, and pictures of Heather were put in their place. She changed the red and blue color schemes Noah picked out to maroon, her favorite color. She even started to make coffee mugs with her name and picture on them.

Around lunch time, Heather entered the pool hall. She had a table set up right by the pool so she could relax while she ate. Heather had someone pull her chair out for her, tuck in her napkin, and bring her a delicious meal. Right before she ate, she took out her cell and called Owen.

"Owen, can you come to the pool room now?" Owen said yes and ran in.

"See, Owen," Heather said, relaxing. "My plan worked to perfection. I have to admit though, you had me worried for a second there."

"What are you talking about?" Owen asked.

"When you mixed up the beakers and turned Noah into a rabbit?" Heather said. "But you dumped him in the woods, so he's now either dead or hopelessly lost." She took a sip of soda.

"Right," Owen said, forcing a chuckle. "He couldn't be any deader right now. Nope."

Heather eyed Owen suspiciously, sensing his tension. "I guess not."

"So let's just forget the dude," Owen said. "I mean, we may as well not mention him ever again. Oh look, is that you hair stylist?" Owen said as a teen came up.

Heather walked over to the teen, and pushed him into the pool. "Owen," she started, grabbing his face. "Tell me exactly what you did with Noah. Did you dump him in the woods?"

"Um…if by 'woods; you mean 'accidentally switch him for gym clothes with some other student' then yes..?" Owen said.

"He's still alive? Some student has him?!" Heather said through gritted teeth.

"I was suffering from head trauma!" Owen cried.

Heather clutched her forehead. "Owen! That twerp cannot come back!"

"Yea," Owen said. "That would be awkward. Especially after that awesome eulogy you gave at that assembly…"

"You think?" Heather said. "Owen, you and I are going to go look for him! If he talks, I'm dead. Now lets move!"


	6. Make or Break

Make or Break

It was around ten o'clock in the morning. DJ and Noah had finally emerged from the park. The sun was brightly shining, and things were finally looking up for the two. The school was right across the street. But they had one more obstacle to overcome.

"Oh great," Noah said. "Construction." Indeed, the street in front of the school was closed off. The sewer system under the street was being renovated.

"It's not too bad," DJ said. "We can always walk around it."

Noah looked down the block. Since it was a street in front of the park, it was pretty long. "That will take too long," Noah said. "Heather has a facial every day at eleven, and she's impossible to reach then."

"Then what do you want to do?" DJ asked. "Fly over?"

"Yea," Noah said sarcastically. "Everyone knows rabbits can fly. No! I'm going through." Noah hopped over to the barrier between them and the street.

"You can't do that!" DJ said. "That's a construction site! It's way too dangerous!"

"Fine, tiny!" Noah said. "Stay here. I'm pretty much done with you anyway." Noah hopped into the construction area.

DJ looked around. Nobody was watching, and he was worried about Noah. He followed.

Inside the fence, bulldozers and cranes were set up. Most sat idly by. Parts of the street were ripped up, and big pipes were lying around. It looked like the workers were on break since there were none around.

"So you decided to come after all," Noah commented.

"I did make a promise to take you to school," DJ responded.

DJ carefully followed Noah, but Noah seemed to be oblivious to the potential dangers around him.

"Man, I don't think--" DJ started, but never finished. As he spoke, the ground beneath him gave way. DJ screamed as he fell back into the gaping hole under him. Noah turned around just in time to see DJ disappear. He quickly hopped over and peered into the hole. DJ was hanging for dear life onto some small exposed pipe about three feet down. Below him was darkness and what sounded like rushing water.

"Noah!" DJ shouted. "Help me!"

Noah stuck his paw to his head as if he was in deep thought. "You know…I don't think I will."

"WHAT?!" DJ asked.

"Yea," Noah said. "When we got back to school, I was going to have you arrested by school police, but I like this scenario better."

"So you're just gonna leave me like this?!" DJ asked.

"Bingo, tiny," Noah said, hopping away. "And by the way, I still plan on getting rid of your little zoo for my Pool Palace! See ya around."

"But we had a deal!" DJ yelled with both anger and fear. "We shook on it!"

"Yea, well," Noah started. "The thing about hand shakes is…you need hands!" Noah showed off his paw.

Noah laughed as he hopped one step, but the street suddenly gave way beneath him. He fell through and caught on to some exposed steel rod next to DJ.

"Whoa!" DJ asked. "Are you okay?"

Noah gripped on as hard as he could. "I think so…" he said.

"Good!" DJ said angrily. He kicked Noah in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.

Noah quickly recovered, and used the momentum he gained to kick DJ with a powerful rabbit leg. The kick would've plowed DJ into the side of the sewer, if he wasn't hanging on so tight.

"My mama always told me that there was good in everyone! I thought nobody could be this heartless!" DJ said. "But I was wrong!"

"Oh, I feel so bad!" Noah mocked. "I hereby announce I will change my ways!"

"That's it, Noah! I've had it!"

"Bring it on, tiny!"

The two leapt at each other, letting go of their respective safety lines, and attacked each other. Suddenly, both had realized what they had done.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" both screamed as they fell deeper into the sewer. As luck would have it, the chasm narrowed out beneath them, causing them to get stuck between the two walls. But right beneath them was the main sewer line.

"What is that stink?!" Noah asked.

"That would be all of this neighborhood's raw waste…" DJ said.

"Okay," Noah said as he looked down. "Falling. Definitely not an option… how are we going to get out of this?"

DJ looked around. A few feet up, he saw a dangling power cord coming from the construction site above.

"I have an idea…" DJ said. "I see a cable a few feet up. If I can grab it, I can pull us to safety…"

"How do I know that you won't let me fall into the sewer?!" Noah demanded.

"You're just going to have to trust me bro! I need your help to get out."

"…okay," Noah agreed.

"Here's the plan," DJ started. "If we both push on each other's back, we can climb up the sides close enough so I can grab the cable. On three." The two locked arms. "One…two…THREE!" DJ pushed back, crushing Noah's rabbit body into the wall.

"Awww…" Noah cried. "You did that on purpose!"

"No I didn't!" DJ said. "Just push a little harder!" Noah complied, and soon, they were level.

"Okay…now we half to walk up towards the cable." DJ and Noah slowly walked up the sides of the sewer. The cable was just out of reach.

"Now what, DJ?" Noah asked.

"Give me a sec…" DJ said, thinking. "Okay, unlock arms, and push me up as far as you can."

Noah put his rabbit arms on DJ's back, and pushed with all his might. "You know, I'm so glad you're not a big, heavy guy, or else this would be really difficult…"

"Almost…got it!" DJ said as he grabbed the cable. But now the two were stuck. DJ couldn't grab Noah from behind, and Noah couldn't really move.

"Noah," DJ said, wincing. "Dig your claws into my back and jump off the wall!"

"Really?" Noah asked, surprised.

"Just do it!" DJ said. Noah complied, and leapt off the wall. He started to fall, but caught himself on DJ's back. DJ winced in pain, but now he was able to grab Noah's ears. He pulled Noah off of his back and started to climb.

Unfortunately, climbing down the cable were millions or roaches. DJ screamed as they clambered onto his arm holding the cable and down his shirt. This caused him to thrash Noah about, which ended up with Noah's face getting stuck in a crevice. A crevice full of rats. The rats ran at Noah, filling his mouth, but the force shot Noah out of the crevice and he and DJ up and out of the sewer. Before they knew what had happened, the two were standing on the street once again. They exchanged glances and both forced a chuckle.

"That was…good." Noah said.

"Yea…thanks," DJ responded shaking his head.

Noah's keen ears picked up the sound of a motor approaching. He looked behind DJ and saw a bulldozer approaching. "Watch Out!" he yelled, as he tackled DJ away from the path of the machine. The bulldozer just missed him.

"Oh yea!" Noah taunted. "Whose bad?"

DJ looked at Noah in shock. "You…you just saved my life…"

Noah had realized what he did. "Yea, well…it was a one time thing, Tiny."

"You could've let me get run over," DJ said.

"Well, nobody's that heartl--" Noah realized he was quoting DJ.

"C'mon," DJ said. "Let's get out of here," Since the street fell through, Noah and DJ were forced to walk back to the park. To make matters worse, the entire street was closed down now. Even if they walked to the crosswalk, they couldn't cross.

"Now what?" Noah asked himself.

DJ overheard him and answered. "Well, with this street closed off, we have to walk to the overpass about two hours away."

"We?" Noah asked.

"Well, I did make a promise…" DJ replied.

"…But I'm still making my pool palace…" Noah argued.

DJ shrugged. "Who knows? Two hours is a long time. Maybe you'll change your mind…"

"Don't count on it, Tiny…" Noah said. The two walked parallel to the street to find where they could cross over.

*****

Meanwhile, Heather was angrily going over a list. She was sitting in a small carriage that was decked out so much it would make Queen Elizabeth jealous.

"No, no, NO!" She yelled, crossing names off the list. "We've searched over half of the houses of students and haven't found a thing! Where could he be?" Heather rubbed her temples. "Owen, pull over. I'm tired," she yelled into her cell phone.

"Huff…Copy…huff…that…" Owen replied through his panting. Owen was sitting on a bicycle which was pulling the cart. He eagerly stopped the cart, and out came Heather. The two were in the middle of the park. They had been crisscrossing through it all day. Heather stepped out of her carriage to get a little air. She stepped out right into a pile of mud.

"Ug," heather moaned. "And these were my good shoes!"

Owen didn't seem to notice. He was too busy ordering food from a street vendor. In fact, Owen was getting quite smitten with her.

"So your names Izzy, huh?" Owen asked.

"Yep," She replied. "I'm totally psychotic!"

"Ooh," Owen cooed. "Hubba Hubba. So what are you doing out here with a cart full of delicious food?"

Heather came up later. "Owen!" she yelled. "Stop talking to crazy girls! We have a job!"

"Crazy?!" Izzy asked offended. "Okay, actually your right, but still…crazy?!"

"You know," Owen responded. "It doesn't have to always be about you, Heather. Take this gorgeous young woman here. She's had it tough too. Some talking rabbit gave her a hard time last night."

"See?" Heather asked. "She is… a talking rabbit?" Heather grinned evilly and walked up to Izzy. "Where did he go?"

"I'm not talking to you!" Izzy said.

"What?" Heather asked.

"Yea, I once took a vow of silence for two years, and not even water boarding would open my lips. I'm only talking to Owen."

"Woo hoo!" Owen hooted. "Score one for me!"

"Owen," Heather said. "Ask crazy which way the talking rabbit went."

Owen asked, but Izzy didn't respond. "Uh, Heather, could you back away a few feet?"

"Oh…sure," Heather moved farther away.

"A little more," Owen said.

Heather moved back more.

"More!" Owen yelled.

Heather backed up more.

"Perfect!" Owen said.

"Now ask her which way the talking rabbit went!" Heather watched Owen and Izzy talk, and saw Izzy point in a direction.

Heather ran up to Owen and grabbed him. "Let's get going, Owen!" Owen got onto the bike and started peddling.

"Call me, Iz!" Owen yelled back as he began to bike away. Inside the cart, Heather chuckled gleefully. Soon her problems would be over.


	7. Diner Dash

Diner Dash

"Low blood pressure, huh?" DJ asked, carrying Noah down the block.

"It's a curse," Noah said. "But you learn to live with it."

"Well, it's about noon," DJ noted. "Let's grab some lunch. I know a great place nearby."

It seemed that fate looked favorably upon DJ and Noah. After a half hour of walking, the street where construction blocked them off from the school finished quickly, so the two just crossed. They were a little distance away though, in the shop district.

DJ took Noah to a diner nearby. "Here we are!" DJ said. It was a chain diner with the statue of the "Big Boy" at the front.

"We're eating here?" Noah asked.

"Of course!" DJ said happily. "This place is really cool. I eat here all the time."

"I don't eat anywhere that has less than four stars, Tiny."

"Suit yourself." DJ said as he started to walk in. Noah stood for a moment, but his growling stomach forced him to follow. But there was a little problem.

"Hmm…" DJ said, examining a sign on the door.

"What is it?" Noah asked.

"The sign says 'no rabbits'."

"Okay," Noah said. "That's oddly specific. What do we do now?" After a moment, both looked at each other as if they just had the same idea.

* * *

"Hi. My name is Gwen, and I'll be your waitress today." The waitress said. "What do you two want?"

"Well, little bro?" DJ asked his "brother". "What are you hungry for?"

"Gee, big brother," Noah said, now dressed as a six year old. "What will you have."

"Okay, little guy," DJ said. "Hold on while I place your order." DJ turned to Gwen. "He's such a little bundle of joy."

"Do you want me to take your order, or puke?" Gwen asked.

"We'll have two specials." DJ said.

"Fine," Gwen said, walking to the kitchen to place the order.

When she was out of earshot, Noah and DJ burst out laughing.

"Oh man," Noah said. "I almost lost it when you called me 'little buddy'."

"Alright," DJ said. "I admit this was a good idea."

"When will you learn that all of my ideas a good ones?" Noah asked.

"Hmm…" DJ said. "What about the fact that you went into the park at night, got chased by all the cats in the zoo, tricking me to take you back to school, and walked into the construction site?"

"Well, sure, if you put it that way."

Gwen came back holding two plates with giant burgers on them. "Two specials for the happy family…" Gwen said without emotion, dropping the plates on the table.

DJ clapped happily, but Noah was disgusted. The burger before him was bigger than he was, and was overflowing with bacon grease and mayo. The fact that DJ was making big munching noises didn't help.

"Um," Noah said. "I have to watch my figure. Class president, you know."

"Oh. Come on." DJ said. "Here, let me help you." DJ lifted up Noah's burger and poured ketchup all over the patty. Noah gagged, then got up.

"Where are you going?" DJ asked.

"I'm just going to talk to the chef for a sec." Noah said.

"You're going to get us kicked out." DJ said.

"Please," Noah said. "With this disguise, I'm invisible." With that, he walked to the back.

DJ sighed, then chuckled a little. All in all, Noah was a pretty cool guy, when he wasn't totally absorbed in himself. He took a sip of soda.

But then the table behind him was occupied. And not just by anyone.

"Ug," Heather moaned, seated at the table next to DJ. "We've been searching for hours and we've come up with nothing." She was talking to Owen, who was seated opposite her at the table. "That is the last time we take directions from some random crazy girl selling cheap food in a park! I should have gotten rid of Noah when I had the chance myself!"

This caught DJ's attention. He stopped eating and started listening.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself," Owen comforted. Heather just bent her fork. "Don't worry, Heather." Owen said. "I got you covered." He turned around to DJ.

"Hey buddy," Owen asked. "Can I borrow a fork over here?"

DJ did the best he could to hide his face. "Um, sure here." DJ said, quickly passing him a fork.

"Thanks man--hey," Owen said. "Don't I know you?"

DJ got nervous. "Um, no, I don't think."

"C'mon," Owen said. "Weren't we in the same elementary school? Or was it the same swim class? Oh, I remember! It was Mrs. Othmar's home-ec class! Two semesters. I sat in the back, cause that's where the fridge was. C'mon, help me out!"

"I don't think we've ever met," DJ said. "Look, I've gotta go." He got up and ran off.

"Don't worry!" Owen yelled after him. "I'll think of it!"

Meanwhile, Noah was in the kitchen talking to the chef, Chef Hatchet, who was getting madder by the minute. "I just wanted to make sure that you make something resembling food back here," Noah said. DJ ran in to get Noah.

"Isn't there anything here that's not deep fat fried?" Heather asked as she looked at the menu.

"I'll go ask," Owen said, getting up.

"Okay, I'll make it simple for you," Noah said, as DJ was dragging him away. "Is there or is there not anything edible on the menu?" Chef was really angry now.

DJ was about to drag Noah out of the kitchen, when he spied Owen on his way in. He grabbed Noah, and ran into a storage room near the back.

"Hey man," Owen said to Chef. "What's your policy on making special orders?"

"All right!" Chef yelled. "That's it! I've had it up to here with you kids telling me how to do my job! You want food?! You cook!" Chef handed Owen the ladle, then began packing up supplies. "Four years in culinary school, and all I get is a stupid job at a school, which I have to supplement by working at a ^*& diner…" He muttered. He stormed out, leaving Owen alone in the kitchen, dumbfounded.

Then Gwen walked in. "Okay, I need two burgers, extra bacon on the side, three orders of waffle cheese fires, a strawberry milkshake, and a well done steak with mashed potatoes. Got all that?"

"Two classics with a pork belt, three deep fried Canadians and Maple, a fruity cow squirt, and a cross section with boot scrapings, got it!" Owen said.

"What's going on?" Noah asked DJ.

"No time to explain," DJ said. "We just have to get out of here."

Meanwhile, Heather was growing impatient. "What the heck could Owen be doing in there?" She asked herself. She got up and walked to the kitchen.

DJ found a window in the storage room. "C'mon!" DJ said.

"In a sec, Tiny. I'm still hungry." Noah hopped back into the kitchen.

Owen was busy cooking, so he didn't see who was talking. "Okay, chef," Noah said. "All I want is a spinach omelet with some wheat toast." Noah walked back to dining area. As he opened the right door to the kitchen, Heather opened the left. At the same moment, DJ came out of the storage room, and ducked under a table.

"Owen?" she asked. "You're cooking here?"

"Yep!" Owen said. "It's a dream come true!"

"Fine," Heather said. "In that case, I'll have a mini-burger. Without the mayo."

"Got it," Owen said, not looking up from his work.

Noah walked back through the right door as Heather left through the left. "Actually, make my omelet a pastrami sandwich." He said, walking out the left again.

"Okay," Owen said. DJ leapt out to follow Noah, but Heather came back in. DJ froze in the position of the famous Big Boy statue, and Heather didn't seem to notice him.

"Owen," she said. "Can I get the potatoes as a side dish?"

"I'll have to charge you full price." Owen said.

"Grr…" Heather growled, and walked out the left door, as Noah entered the right.

"Hey, how 'bout some potatoes, buddy?" Noah asked.

"Potatoes. All right." Owen said. Noah walked out. Heather walked in. "Want some cheese on those potatoes?" Owen asked.

"Cheddar, please." Heather said. She walked out. Noah came back in.

"Cheddar potatoes. Sounds good," Owen said.

"Potatoes yes, cheese no," Noah said, walking out. Heather came in.

"No cheese," Owen confirmed.

"No, I want the cheese," Heather said as she walked out, while Noah walked in.

"Cheese it is," Owen said.

"On my potatoes, cheese I do not want," Noah said. Heather walked in. Noah walked out.

"Cheese out," Owen replied.

"Cheese in," Heather said, walking out.

"Oh come on!" Owen said. "Make up your mind!"

Noah and Heather both came in through the two doors, so they couldn't see each other. "On second thought, make my potatoes a salad," both said in unison. Then both walked back to their tables.

DJ took this opportunity to sneak back to the dining room. When he saw Noah and Heather sitting just meters apart, he whispered something into Gwen's ear.

"I hate this job," Gwen said, heading to the kitchen.

Just then, Heather noticed the "kid" at the next table over. Something was strange about him. In fact, he looked almost like a…

Suddenly all the waiters and waitresses came up to Heather and shouted "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They started to sing, throw confetti, and they placed a sombrero on her head. Heather was not amused.

DJ then ran into the dining room, grabbed Noah, and ran out as fast as he could.

Owen walked out of the kitchen. "Oh man! It's your birthday?!" He laughed.

Outside, DJ was breathing heavily, while Noah remained confused.

"Whew, that was close," DJ said.

"What was?" Noah asked.

"There were these two people in there looking for you," DJ said. "A big, fat guy, and a skinny young woman."

"Wat a sec," Noah said. "Did this skinny woman seem to emanate evil and hate from every pour in her body?" he asked.

"Oh yea," DJ replied.

"That's Heather!" Noah said. "Heather and Owen! They've come to rescue me!"

"I really don't think they want to help you," DJ said.

"Of course they do," Noah replied. "Now, thanks for your help DJ. But I can take it from here." "Noah, they want you dead!" DJ argued.

"That's insane," Noah replied. "They love me!" Noah started to hop away, but DJ grabbed him.

"I'm not letting you go, man," DJ said.

"Oh, I see how it is," Noah said angrily. "You never wanted to take me back to the school. You wanted to keep me out here forever! All you care about is that stupid animal club!"

"That's not true!" DJ said.

"Well, you can't pull the wool over this guy's eyes. Why don't you get lost?"

DJ stopped. "You really mean that?" he asked.

"Read my lips," Noah said. "GO HOME!"

DJ frowned. "Fine," he said. "I hope you have fun becoming rabbit stew!"

"Whatever," Noah said, hopping away.

Noah hopped to the front of the restaurant, where Heather and Owen were exiting.

"This is all your fault, Owen!" Heather said.

"What I do?" Owen asked.

"You were the one who mixed up the poisons in the first place!" She yelled. At this point, Noah was within earshot of the conversation.

"There will be no more distractions until we track that rabbit down and kill it!" Noah heard this, and was stunned.

"Whoa," Owen said. "Kill Noah? Isn't that a little extreme?"

Owen got on his bike, and Heather got into the carriage. "I'm doing the school a service. Since Noah was president, what has he done for the school? Nothing. All he's done was serve his selfish interest."

"Well, you have a point," Owen said. "Nobody at school seems to miss him at all."

This broke Noah's heart. What he thought were his friends turned out to be his enemies. He was all alone now. And nobody even cared. Heather and Owen rode off.

"DJ!" Noah screamed, looking for the guy that got him this far. "DJ!" Noah hopped towards the park once again. "DJ?" But there was no one. Noah sighed, and walked slowly back into the park. Storm clouds were forming.

Inside, he could just make out the top of his school. But he didn't care anymore. It wasn't "his" at all. He was just a rabbit now. He had failed as a man.

Noah sat silently, while the rain drenched his fur.

_So here's the story guys. A man, cursed to become a beast, trapped by his own hubris. Like I said. I'm the victim here. They took---_

"Do you mind?" Noah asked.

_I'm just trying to tell them what happened._

"They know what happened. They just saw what happened."

_Well, yea, but--_

"Just shut up and leave me alone," Noah said. He curled up into a little ball of fur, and tried in vain to sleep through the rest of the day.


	8. Race to the Finish

Race to the Finish

Noah slowly got up and shook his damp fur. He looked around. It was still daytime, and it seemed like his school was adjourning for the day. But Noah didn't care about that. He wasn't wanted anyway. He walked through the park looking as sad and as defeated as a rabbit could.

Eventually, he got to a clearing. He saw a few park rabbits, and tried to approach them, but they quickly hopped away. Noah sighed, accepted his rejection, and tried to gulp down a dry clump of grass. Would this be the rest of his life?

After a few minutes, Noah thought he heard a voice. A deep voice, but one filled with kindness. He followed the familiar voice to where a teen was talking to a few rabbits. Noah was elated, because that teen was DJ!

"Then," DJ continued, "we went right over the cliff. You know, the cliff in the park. And you know what? Even after he did all that stuff to me..." DJ looked up at Noah, like he always knew Noah was there. "...I promised him we'd finish this together."

Noah, for the first time in quite a while, smiled. A real, genuine smile that you might only use on your best friend.

"So," DJ asked Noah. "Tired of being a rabbit?"

"No," Noah said sarcastically. "I was just getting used to the idea of eating dead weeds." DJ smiled at this.

"Ready to go back?" DJ asked.

"Yes!" Noah said.

* * *

Heather and Owen were taking a break from searching for Noah by going to Heather's favorite salon. Heather was getting a facial, while Owen was sitting in the lobby waiting for her.

Owen was reading a magazine and engaged deep in thought. "Oh Goofus and Gallant," he chuckled. "Once again your clever antics have taught me the way to spiritual purity." Suddenly, a new thought hit Owen like an anvil. "That guy at the diner!" He said. "He didn't pay his check. Oh well."

Just then, another thought occurred to Owen. "That guy at the diner! He was the guy I switched gym bags with when I tried to get rid of Noah! So if we find that guy, we find Noah." Owen congratulated himself on being so smart, then ran to the room Heather was in.

"Heather!" Owen yelled.

"What?!" Heather asked back.

"GAAH!!" Owen yelled in disgust. Heather's face was covered with a facial mask, making her look like a monster.

"This had better be good Owen," she growled.

* * *

"I called my friends," DJ said as he and Noah exited the park. "They'll meet us at my house. The school's closed by now, but since I'm president of a club, I have a key for school access. We have to go get it."

"What?" Noah asked. "I was the president of the **school** and **I** didn't get a key." Noah and DJ crossed the street, and ran a few blocks to DJ's house.

DJ ran across his mom walking down the street. She was on her way to pick up some groceries. "Mama," DJ said happily.

"Poopie-doo!" DJ's mom said in response, and hugged her son. "Your friends are at home, son. I've never met some of them though. You should really tell me about your new friends."

"New friends?" DJ asked. "Can you describe them?"

"Well," DJ's mom began. "One of them is really, really big. And the other is evil beyond description."

DJ and Noah exchanged glances, and gulped. "What are we gonna do?" Noah asked.

"Don't worry," DJ said, taking out his cell phone. "I'll just tell Cody what's up."

* * *

"So how did you say you knew DJ?" Cody asked DJ's apparent friends.

"We met at an assembly," Heather asked.

"Yea," Owen added. "An assembly about brownies!" Heather elbowed Owen in the stomach.

"Uh huh," Cody said in disbelief.

Katie and Sadie were there, too. "Don't worry, guys," Sadie said. "DJ said he'd be here soon."

"And DJ is totally reliable," Katie added.

"C'mon Owen," Sadie said, with she and Katie dragging him away. "We want to show you this super awesome jump rope I have."

"Well, I never turn down an invitation from a lady," Owen said suavely. Katie and Sadie giggled, and pulled Owen away from Heather.

"Um," Heather said. "He's special ed."

"Okay…" Cody replied. Just then, Cody received a text message. He checked his phone, and it was a message from DJ. "Excuse me for a sec," Cody said.

Heather took this opportunity to sneak away to get to Owen, who was eagerly engaged in a game of jump rope with Katie and Sadie. Heather jumped in with Owen.

"These three are hiding something," Heather said. "On my signal, we search the house."

"Okay," Owen said. "But I still have some jumps to go."

Heather growled, and hopped back to Cody, who was just putting away his phone.

"So," Heather asked. "Why not give me a tour of the house?"

"Actually," Cody said. "That's not such a bad idea. I just have to wiz real quick, and then I'll be back."

Owen, meanwhile, was now holding two ropes while Katie and Sadie jumped. "Okay ladies," Owen said. "I think I just invented a variation of Double Dutch. On the signal, we switch places."

Heather showed up. "Owen, it's time," she said.

"Okay," Owen replied, and switched places with Katie, as Heather found herself jumping in Sadie's place.

"That's not what I meant!" she said.

Meanwhile, DJ and Noah had just snuck in. DJ was talking to Cody in his kitchen. "So we have to take him back to school and turn him back to a human." Noah jumped out from behind DJ.

"Hey there," he greeted suddenly. This surprised Cody, who stomped on Noah's head.

"That was him…" DJ said.

"Whoops…" Cody said.

"That's okay…" Noah heaved out through the pain.

Heather was going through the house, searching for any clues about where Noah could be. Meanwhile, Katie and Sadie were right behind her.

"You go to our school, right?" Katie asked. "So you must know who Justin is!"

"Don't you think he's the hottest, Heather?" Sadie asked. Heather did her best to ignore the two.

"He's really hot!" Katie said, infatuated.

"Really, really hot!" Sadie said.

"Really really, REALLY hot," Katie added.

"Really, really, really, REALLY hot!" This game went on until Heather had enough.

"Don't you two ever shut up?!" She yelled. This silenced the two girls quickly.

Just then, Cody joined the scene. "So how about that tour?" he asked. He grabbed Heather and Owen by their arms and led them to a storage closet.

A few seconds later, DJ and Noah came in. They saw, Cody, Katie, and Sadie giggling at a closet door.

"Are you sure you can't find the doorknob?" Cody asked slyly, the disconnected doorknob in hand.

"Alright, thats it! I have had enough!" Heather yelled angrily from inside. "Tell me where the talking rabbit is and I'll burn the house down!"

"Don't you mean 'or I'll burn the house down'?" Sadie asked.

"She has a point," Owen agreed. "That's a pretty crucial conjunction."

Heather moaned in agony. "Just break the stupid door down, Owen!"

"I can't do that! That's a fine cherry wood door!"

"Fine, you oaf! I'll do it myself!"

Outside, Cody counted down to one, and opened the door quickly. Heather ran out, in ramming position. The momentum she built up kept her going, and she slid across the linoleum in the kitchen, and out the kitchen door. She rolled onto the street, crashing into a row of trash bags before landing in a neighbors yard with a very temperamental German Shepard.

Meanwhile, DJ and Noah grabbed DJ's key and ran off towards the school.

"Well, let's not wait until the next school assembly to get together," Owen said to DJ's friends.

"Oh my gosh, Owen!" Katie and Sadie said. "You're so much fun. You should totally join our club!"

"I may just do that. Later guys!" Owen said as he ran out the door to help Heather.

A/N: _Be sure to check out my new TDI fanfic, "A Bully Fairytale"!_


	9. Wheel of Zoology

_A/N: Yes, I'm still alive and working on this. Sorry for being gone for so long. I've been working on other projects (my other fanfics, my school comic), but rest assured, this is still on my to do list._

_P.S: Updated my profile page. Check it out, especially the links I added._

Wheel of Zoology

Heather and Owen chased Noah and DJ all over town. They ran up and down city blocks, through backyards, and across bustling street corners.

DJ looked at his watch. "Okay Noah, it's about 10 in the morning, so we should be there in about half an hour. Hopefully, we'll beat Heather and Owen."

Noah hopped as fast as he could, which was actually pretty fast, since he was a rabbit. "And then I'm back to being human!" He happily said between breaths.

Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Heather and Owen were chasing after the rabbit. Heather was sitting on her carriage, while Owen towed her with his bike.

"Pedal faster, Owen!" Heather yelled. "If Noah gets to school first, our plan is doomed!"

Luckily, Heather spotted DJ and Noah at the end of the block. "They're they are!" Heather shouted. Noah and DJ turned around to see Heather and Owen quickly approaching.

"Uh oh…" Noah muttered. The street they were going to cross was still busy. But Noah and DJ had no choice.

"Hold on, man," DJ said, grabbing Noah. DJ walked onto the street, dodging cars rather nimbly. What was really strange was that each car on the street was spaced evenly apart, and moving at the same pace. DJ and Noah took advantaged of this, and hopped across. But Heather and Owen weren't far behind.

"DJ," Noah said. "Heather's still following us!"

DJ got the two across the street, trying to think of what to do next. The block stretched on for a bit, but there was a river in front of them.

"Quick, across the river!" DJ said.

"How are we gong to cross?" Noah asked. "We don't exactly have a boat…"

But as luck would have it, there were several logs and turtles floating by in a uniform pattern. DJ carefully hopped onto a log, then onto a turtle, then another log, and made it across.

"800 points!" Noah exclaimed once they were across.

Heather and Owen, by this time, had made it across the street. Heather spotted Noah and DJ on the other side of the river.

"How did they cross?" Owen asked.

Heather looked down at the river, and saw the logs and turtles. "The same way we're going to! Owen, jump across."

Doing this with a bike made this really difficult. Owen pushed the bike and cart onto a trio of turtles, then onto a log.

Heather smiled. DJ and Noah were still in sight. But then Owen jumped onto another set of turtles. Which decided to dive at that moment.

Heather's smile sank as fast as she did.

"Game over!" Noah happily yelled at a distance.

It was raining heavily by the time Noah and DJ were at the school. DJ was standing by the sink in the abandoned girls bathroom, while Noah re-entered.

"Seriously, why does she even have that knob…" Noah asked.

This time DJ turned the other knob, resulting in the two being thrown into a cart on the other side of the wall. They were placed in a cart, and were sent down to the chemistry lab. When they arrived, they found themselves in laboratory suits and goggles (neither of which fit them). After discarding the uniforms, the two searched for an antidote.

"What does the chemical look like?" DJ asked, sifting through bottles.

"I don't know…" Noah said, also searching.

DJ came to an old locker, and opened it up. Inside were identical looking beakers, arranged in groups, with each containing a pinkish fluid. Under each group was a label. Each label was of a different animal.

"I think I found it, man," DJ said. Noah quickly hopped over.

"Hm…" DJ examined the shelves. "Lions…tigers…bears…" but the space labeled 'human' was empty.

"Oh my…" a feminine voice called from behind. DJ and Noah turned around. Heather was standing there, with an evil smile on her face. She was holding a beaker with bright pink fluid inside. The human potion.

"Wait a second…" Noah said. "How on earth did you beat us here?"

"Well…" Heather stopped, and thought. "Owen, how _did _we beat them here?"

Owen, standing a little distance away, pulled out a map. "Beats me. By all accounts, it doesn't add up."

"A minor detail," Heather said, going back to DJ and Noah.

"Heather…" Noah asked, afraid. "Do you really want to kill me?"

"Just think of it this way. You're being let go. Your body is part of an outplacement. You've been voted out of life."

"Ha ha!" Owen laughed. "I love irony!"

"You know what's ironic?" Heather moaned. "My dependence on you."

"Okay, I admit it," Noah begged. "I was a jerk." Noah suddenly broke down. "This can't be happening!"

"Then I bet you weren't expecting this!" Heather said as she hiked up her shorts.

DJ and Noah just stared.

Heather pulled out a concealed knife tied to her leg. "Ha ha!" she yelled.

DJ and Noah kept staring at her leg. "Did she say something?" Noah asked.

Heather growled, and threw the knife to Owen. "Owen. Take care of Noah."

Owen held the knife in his hand, unsure of what to do. He had a major moral crisis on his hands. Guess who showed up.

"Problem, man?" angel Owen showed up on Owen's right shoulder.

"Let me handle this," Devil Owen said, as he poofed onto Owen's left.

"Oh boy, am I glad you guys are here!" Owen said. "Heather just threw me this knife, and is asking me to kill Noah, and…"

Owen kept talking as Heather, DJ, and Noah watched in confusion. Heather finally decided to stop the weirdness.

"Owen," Heather began. "Why did I think that you could do this? Why did I ever involve you in my plan?" Owen just stood there. "I feel like I'm talking to a monkey. Wait. A monkey is smart. It's more like I'm talking to a big, fat, stupid, disgusting OWEN!" Owen's lip quivered in sadness.

"And you know what else?" Heather added. "You cooking sucks."

Owen stopped. "Oh, that's it," Devil-Owen said. "She's going down."

"Stop guys," Angel-Owen said. "Remember. From above do the wicked receive their just rewards." This line caused the three Owens to look up. Above heather was a lighting fixture. A plug ran to the wall besides Owen.

"That'll work," the three said in unison. Owen took the knife and cut the line. But the line was actually an electrical plug. The plug sent 10,000 volts through Owen, charring him in a cartoony fashion.

"Um," Owen coughed. "That usually works."

"So does this!" Heather said, as she pulled a lever. A trapdoor opened up under Owen, and he fell halfway down until he got stuck.

"Oh my gosh you are fat," Heather said. She walked over to Owen and started stomping him down, but he was stuck. Heather went to a nearby closet, and came back with a plunger. After some effort, she forced Owen down the trapdoor.

"Now where was I?" Heather asked. "Oh yes." She pulled out the potion.

DJ quickly made a grab for it, almost snatching it out of Heathers fingers. But Heather held on. Noah ran up to her and sunk his teeth into her arm. This caused Heathers grip to loosen. DJ was pulling very hard, so the lose grip caused him to grab the potion and fling it towards the lockers. The potion landed on the floor in front of the locker with the other potions. The three ran towards the locker. Noah was faster, and was about to make a grab for the potion, but with a mighty heave, Heather lunged forward, slamming herself into the locker. This caused a lot of the other potions to fall to the floor.

"Which one is the human potion?" DJ asked, grabbing at them.

"I-I don't know!" Noah panicked.

Meanwhile, Heather grabbed a walkie-talkie. "Attention school security!" She said. "President Heather being assaulted in old chem lab!"

"Roger that!" a voice on the other end said. "We're on our way now!"

Heather shut off the walkie-talkie and smiled. "Better hurry up! I'm expecting some guests soon!"

"What do we do?" Noah asked.

"Just take them all!" DJ said, stuffing as many vials as he could into his pockets.

At that moment, doors at the side of the room opened up. There were about ten school security officers there to help Heather, and they looked really strong.

"Get them!" Heather yelled. "They're the ones that killed Noah!"

The security guards swarmed upon Noah and DJ. Both screamed, and started to run. They hid behind a table with a lot of different chemicals on it.

"Quick!" DJ said. "Flip the table over!" The two flipped the table onto the guards, covering them with the chemicals.

The guards were all enveloped in smoke, and were transformed into animals. Among them were a bear, a shark, a raccoon, a duck, and beaver. Noah and DJ decided this would be a good time to try to escape. The two ran out of the lab.

"After them!" Heather shouted.

"Excuse me…" one guard said. "I've been turned into a beaver, can I go home?"

"Go ahead," Heather said. The guard left. "Anyone else?" All the other animals were good.

DJ and Noah ran through the school to the top floor, which was pretty high up. DJ grabbed a potion. "Okay, try this one," DJ said, giving Noah a potion.

Noah drank it, and turned into a snail. Which was really bad, since the animal guards were quickly approaching.

"DJ, help!" Noah screamed in a tiny voice. DJ quickly turned around, and grabbed Noah right before he was crushed by the bear. As DJ carried him, he offered Noah another potion.

After drinking this one, Noah turned into a llama. While this did give him some speed, it was not the potion he was looking for. "Ya know, contrary to popular opinion, I don't think llamas make anything better at all," he said as he ran.

The two rounded a corner, and came to the end of the hall. "All these doors are locked!" DJ said. The angry guards were rushing towards them. The only way out was the fifth story window behind them.

DJ opened the window, and grabbed a potion. "Oh please be something with wings…" he begged. He grabbed Noah and jumped out, while Noah drank the potion.

"Yea!" Noah cheered. "We're flying now!" Noah had transformed into a rather large bird, and was flapping with confidence. DJ was hanging onto his legs.

"Um, Noah…" DJ said, looking down. "You're a penguin."

Noah stopped flapping. "Where's Tinkerbelle when you need her?" He asked before quickly grabbing onto the roof of the school with his beak.

He and DJ climbed their way on top of the school. They heard animals approaching from a stairway nearby.

"Quick! In there!" DJ said. He and Noah hopped into an open drain for rainwater on the roof, which was oddly large enough to fit a person.

"See!" Noah said as the were in the drain. "My presidency accomplished something after all!"

"Oh, like the school really needs giant rainwater pipes!" DJ commented as they ran.

"Actually," Noah said, forcing a chuckle, "I was going to route the rain water to the drinking fountains in the freshman hallway…"

DJ, meanwhile, had three potions left. "Take this one, man!" DJ said, stuffing a vial into penguin Noah's mouth. The potion transformed Noah into a rabbit.

"Yes!" Noah cheered. "I'm a rabbit again!" Then Noah did a double take. "Wait a minute…"

Meanwhile, the drain changed direction and tunneled straight down. Luckily, DJ was able to catch onto another drain that fed into this one, and he and Noah climbed in. The other guards weren't so lucky. DJ heard them as they were drained to the bottom of the school reservoir.

Noah and DJ continued along the drain until they came to the opening. The drain actually led to the front of the school, near the face of the clock tower. Noah and DJ ran onto the edge under the clock face, which presided over the school's main courtyard.

DJ reached into his pocket. "Okay. Only two left. It has to be one of these."

He was about to pick one when Heather tackled him from above. DJ dropped the two vials in front of him. Noah ran for them, but Heather got to them first. Noah jumped on Heather, and wrestled for the vials, resulting on one of them spilling onto Heather.

There was a loud boom, and a maroon smoked filled Noah and DJ's eyes. All the could hear was Heather laughing evilly. She had just been transformed.

"What?" Heather asked. DJ was snickering. Noah was all out laughing. "What?" Heather asked again.

She felt her head. "My…my hair!" she cried.

"Trust me, the hair is the least of your problems!" Noah laughed.

Heather noticed she had no hair whatsoever, had big bucked teeth, and was about six inches tall.

"I think she's a naked mole rat…" DJ said.

"No…" Heather moaned. "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'll take that!" Noah said, grabbing the last potion. Right before he could drink it, Heather jumped up and clawed at Noah's face.

"Ow! Stop it!" Noah yelled. He dropped the potion, which rolled close to the edge of the tower. Heather jumped down and grabbed it.

"No!" DJ yelled. "Don't drop it! Please!"

"What are you, an idiot?" Heather asked, in her new, squeaky voice. "I'm going to drink it. And then when I'm back to my popular self, I'm going to kill the both of you!" she laughed.

Heather tried to open the bottle, but could not get the cork off. Angry, she threw the vial against the floor. It bounced off, and fell. Off the side of the tower.

Heather and DJ jumped after the vial. DJ was just able to grab the vial at the last moment. He had to stretch his body out as far as he could to reach it, and was in great danger of falling himself.

Heather didn't think, and jumped totally over. "Uh oh…" she uttered, as she began falling.

In a ditch effort, Heather grabbed onto DJ's outstretched arm. The pain caused DJ to lose balance, and fall off too. DJ threw the potion up to Noah, but threw it too far. The potion landed on top of the minute hand of the clock.

"Why do I always get stuck with the Catch 22s?" Noah asked as he analyzed the situation. Heather had fallen all the way to the ground, or at least out of sight, DJ was hanging on for dear life about a meter below, and the potion was on the minute hand. It was 10:45, so the minute hand was slowly moving up and away. Noah saw that when the minute hand moved, the movement would cause the potion to wobble and fall off to the ground five stories below.

"Noah!" DJ yelled. "Help!"

"Just a second…" Noah said, as he went back and forth between the vial and DJ. DJ's hand began slipping, as the minute hand was about to move.

"NOAH!" DJ said, as his fingers gave way. "NOO!" he yelled.

Suddenly, DJ felt his hand being clasped by two paws. Noah was using all of his strength to pull DJ up. Considering that he was a rabbit, it was quite amazing that he was holding onto DJ at all. As soon as Noah pulled DJ up, the minute hand moved, and the potion fell.

Meanwhile, down below, a man named Chef Hatchet was standing at the school's entrance.

"I'm telling ya, we didn't order a giant trampoline!" he growled.

"Well, you could've told me that before I set it up, pal!" the guy, named Chris, shouted. Suddenly, a little hairless mammal landed in the trampoline, and bounced back up as fast as she fell.

"AAHHHHH!" Heather screamed. Suddenly, the falling vial landed in Heather's paws. Heather looked at it, and laughed evilly.

Noah was panting for breath as DJ happily hugged him. "DUDE!" DJ said. Then he put Noah down. "How the heck did you do that?"

"I…read somewhere…that in times of great stress people can perform feats of great strength…" Noah wheezed.

"You know, nobody is going to believe that a rabbit was able to pull a guy my size to safety."

"Would you rather fall to your untimely death?" Noah asked. DJ couldn't argue with that.

"So where's the potion?" DJ asked.

Noah just sat silently, and DJ got the message.

But before any real feelings could set in, a pinkish blur whizzed past Noah and DJ from below. IT was Heather, and she was holding the human potion in her paws. She flew up a few more feet, and landed on the minute hand, now resting at 10:50.

"The potion!" DJ called, pointing at the evil mammal above them.

Heather sneered at the duo below, laughing. "Ha ha ha! I win," she mocked.

Suddenly, a hidden door on the clock face (where the number 11 was) opened up, squishing Heather against the back. Heather dropped the potion onto the minute hand, which was now wedged under a certain boys arm.

"Wow! What are the chances that that trapdoor would lead me to the school clock," the boy, Owen laughed aloud.

"Owen!" DJ and Noah called from below.

Owen looked down. "Hey guys!" Owen called. "How's it going?"

"The potion! Throw it down!" DJ yelled.

"Where?" Owen asked.

"Under your left arm, tubby!" Noah hollered.

Owen looked under his arm, still resting on the minute hand, and saw the potion. "Oh. Heh heh. Okay." What Owen didn't realize was that his arm was jamming the clock's ands in place, causing the springs and gears on the inside to stop and build up pressure. Owen lifted his arm to grab the potion. As soon as he did, the hand acted like a catapult and flung the potion to the top of the tower.

"Erm…Sorry guys…" Owen said. "Don't worry, I got this." Owen turned around, and disappeared into the clock.

DJ and Noah sat there, listening to the many crashes, tinkles, smashes, and other noises of destruction from the other side of the clock.

"I'm guessing he tripped and fell," Noah said with disdain.

"Now what do we do?" DJ asked.

The duo looked up at the potion. It was resting on a ledge above the clock tower. It was too high to jump to, and there was no way to get it from inside. Noah could ride the minute hand to the top, but Owen apparently destroyed the clock.

"Hey, come here!" DJ said. He and Noah ran to the left side of the tower. There was no clock here. Instead, it was a series of high relief designs. One in particular caught the duos attention. A vertical channel ran all the way up to the top of the tower.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" DJ asked.

"Way ahead of you, tiny," Noah said, offering his "arms".

The two latched their arms together, back to back, and put their feet on opposite sides of the structure. Like they did in the sewer system before, by pushing against each other's back, the duo was able to climb their way up to the top. With a mighty effort, Noah stretched his body long enough for DJ to reach the top. DJ reached out with his right arm, and was able to grab the potion.

After getting back down, DJ smiled as he handed the potion to Noah. "This is it. This'll turn you back into a dude."

Noah stared at the potion in his hand. He eyed the viscous, pink liquid in the glass beaker before him. It was still slightly cool to the touch, despite the days activities. Noah probably would never let DJ know this, but DJ had helped him become a human long before handing him the vial. But it would not stop him from savoring the moment.

Noah uncorked the bottle with his teeth, and held it up in a toast. "Well, here's to being human," he offered. He poured the cool liquid down into his mouth, refreshing him as it slid down his throat. A bright pink cloud spread from his body, masking his transformation.

DJ looked on expectantly as the smoke dissipated. Before him was no longer the lanky form of a young rabbit, or even the form of an selfish and greedy young man.

It was Noah, smiling a real, genuine smile.


	10. The New Groove

The New Groove

It was a bright, crisp day in Toronto. The sun shone overhead, sending beams of light down to the city below. In that city was a certain high school, and in that high school was a special project.

Noah, the school class president, was wearing his swimming trunks, blue with a dark red floral pattern, along with a white t-shirt. Breathing in deeply, he sighed with gladness.

"Ahh…nothing like a hot dip to take the strain off of a guy," he remarked.

Noah trotted into what was once one of the school rooms. In fact, it used to be the room a certain animal club had been using. But it was really different now. The back wall had been knocked down, and glass replaced it, so the room looked more like a greenhouse mixed with the CN tower. It looked over the school courtyard with the pool down below.

Noah grabbed a towel and walked to the other side of the room. He placed the towel at his feet, a few feet away from a brand new hot tub. The tub was nice and warm now, perfect for a bath.

"Let's do this, Tiny," Noah smirked.

DJ, also in swim trunks and kneeling next to Noah, nodded. "Okay."

Noah picked up something small and furry next to him. It was a happily panting dog. "Okay, in you go boy," Noah said as he picked up the dog and dunked him into the tub (the hot tub was the perfect size for dogs).

Behind him, a camera flashed, as the school paper got a perfect shot to run in their next issue. The other students cheered. Cody, Katie and Sadie came in, all with animals in tow, to help Noah and DJ christen the new animal club room. The duo continued to wash and dry the animals.

A little bit later, all the animals were in the courtyard around the pool, as well as many of the students, because Noah was holding a big barbeque. DJ walked up to Noah just as he finished talking to an interviewer.

"And I thought, why keep all these poor animals cooped up in some musty dank room? That's when I decided to renovate the room to make it a lot better for the animals. Hence, the glass balcony looking down at the pool, the miniature hot tub, and the other changes you saw."

"Noah, I found him!" DJ called.

"Really?" Noah asked. "Great! Where is he?"

"Over by the snacks table."

Noah walked over to the table, and sure enough, the guy he was looking for was there.

"Um, hey, listen," Noah began, addressing the person. "Um…what was your name?"

"Me?" The guy asked. "My name's Ezekiel, eh?"

"Listen Zeke," Noah started. "Sorry I was such a jerk to you several weeks back. If there's any way I can make it up to you, just ask."

Ezekiel smiled. "Don't worry about it, eh?" He said. "I get kick out of places all the time. Guess I'm just too wild, eh?" The two laughed together.

"So you're absolutely sure your okay."

"Yea man. It takes more than that to bring me down!" Ezekiel playfully punched Noah in the arm.

"Easy, Rocky," Noah mused. "I need to use that arm later."

"No problem," Ezekiel said. "Eh, are any of those dogs down here? I'm thinking about adopting one."

"Yea," Noah said. "They're by the other side of the pool."

"Great," Ezekiel said, trotting off.

DJ caught up with Noah, who was currently looking out at the party. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Some were swimming, some were eating, and others were dancing to some music.

"Great job with this event, Noah," DJ said. "The school's really taken a turn for the better."

"Hey, I couldn't have done it without your help, Tiny," Noah responded. "I really couldn't have done any of this."

"That's what pals are for," DJ said. He offered Noah a fist, and Noah pounded it.

"Want to go for a swim?" DJ asked. There were already several other people swimming around the pool, but there was definitely room for two more.

"I'm right behind ya!" Noah replied. DJ ran to the edge of the pool, yelled "Cannonball" and jumped in.

Noah stood at the edged of the pool for a minute. He looked down at his reflection. "Just making sure I'm still human…" Noah said, and then jumped in.

On the other side of the pool, where many of the animals relaxed in a wide pen, Owen was looking over them. "Aww…" Owen cooed. "You guys are so cute! I wish I could adopt every last one of you!"

"Yea!" Izzy added, who was clasping Owen's arm. "Then you could, like, start a pack Big-O! I have experience you know, because I read 'Call of the Wild' once, and then set out on an Alaskan expedition with Chihuahuas I stole from my neighbor and a sled made out of a lawn chair and a pair of skis!"

"Hey, I'd like to take a look at some of your dogs please?" Ezekiel asked Owen.

"Sure thing dude!" Owen said. "Heather, can you bring out a couple of dogs?"

Heather was still in her naked mole rat form, and in the pen with the rest of the animals. While she did have an animal club t-shirt, she was dressed up more like a janitor. "Forget it!" she said. "I didn't sign up to chauffer some mangy mutt around."

"Aww, c'mon Heather." Owen said.

"I said no!" She said. Just then, a bulldog walked up and licked Heather affectionately, covering her in a thick layer of dog drool.

"Gahh!" Heather screamed. "I HATE THIS CLUB! I HATE THIS SCHOOL!"

_The End_

_A/N__: Woohoo! My first real fanfic is really finished. And it took quite a while. A really big thanks to all who reviewed, and all who read. I hope you all enjoyed it._

_If you like this story, I recommend you read my other TDI parody story, "A Bully Fairytale". Not that I've completed this one, that story should be updated more often._


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